Life or Something Like It

I love the smell of Island Fresh Gain. Just thought I'd put that out there.

Facebook sucks at importing stuff. Like blogs. And Goodreads.

I hate that everything is in reruns tonight. They should not be allowed on regular programming. I want all new all the time. Except for reruns of Seinfeld and The Golden Girls and Roseanne and Everybody Loves Raymond and Sex and the City (which comes on nowhere anymore!!!) >:- (  

Ohhh!! Look!!! Another iPhone commercial. I'll never get tired of them. :) I just discovered that my upgrade is  September 26, not December!!! That's 3 months sooner than I thought!!!!! As of this moment I have 163 days, 3 hours and 21 minutes until my upgrade. That's way better than 254 days!

I feel like I should have something good to say as it's been so long since I've written a blog. There's been drama, but none of mine. Which is a good thing!

Went to Dallas to attend a seminar for work and stayed at The Westin Hotel at the Galleria. You'd think it'd be fancy. It SHOULD be fancy for the price. But it was just a normal hotel room with 2 queen-sized beds. It was nice and everything, no Motel 6, but only worth about 1/3 of the price. Isn't that the way everything is these days? Overbilled and overpriced. It was kind of fun though. I felt important, anyway. I enjoyed the seminar. I know, only a nerd would enjoy a seminar over Medicare billing. But we all know I'm a nerd.

This last weekend Tina and I went to Texarkana for a little shopping. I actually went that direction because there was a shop in Dekalb that sells scrubs. A shop that closes at 5 p.m. everyday. Except for the Friday I decided to go. That Friday they closed at 4. Well, of course they did. Anyway. Ate at Carino's (btw where has this place been all my life) and YUM! Went to a couple stores and hit up the AT&T store. I've been drooling for an iPhone for a while (nerd, remember) but my contract is not up until December so I haven't even really looked at them yet. Until Friday. We went in there because Tina's contract is up in May and she wanted to look around. She doesn't get my obsession with the iPhone. Which has exponentially grown since I got to play with one Friday. I've seen them. I've looked at them before. But I hadn't really gotten to get my grubby little paws on one yet. OMG I've really got the fever now. They're so fast. It's an iPod. It's got Google Maps. And all the cool apps. And the flicking of the pages. And the interface. Ohhh, here's a commercial now! It's so much better than my stupid little Palm Centro!!! SCREW AT&T for making me wait!!! They've put out an updated one every summer since it came out in '07, the 3GS being the one that came out last summer, so I wonder if there will be an updated one this summer. Anybody know? Maybe it will be worth waiting until December but I've always been a fan of instant gratification. I'll have to wait in any case because there are no used ones on eBay because NOBODY gets rid of them! And I don't have $300 to buy one outright. So! December it is.

American Idol. Does anyone else think that stupid show was rigged last week? I mean Tim Urban was safe and Michael was voted off, really? I don't buy it for one second. They saw it as an opportunity to create drama and keep the person on that they wanted. I'm so done with that show. Blah.

Well, people. I'm off to "virtually" covet the iPhone. Have a lovely evening!

It's nearly one o'clock in the morning. I finished reading Forrest Gump about an hour ago. I've been in my dark, quiet bedroom with my eyes shut trying to get some sleep ever since. So, now I'm here to write myself to sleep. Maybe it will work.

In case you live under a rock and haven't seen/read them, there are movie and book spoilers for Forrest Gump, Angels and Demons, and Harry Potter, all of which are fairly inconsequential but I am warning you none the less. Forrest Gump the movie and Forrest Gump the book are similar in two ways. They both have a character named Forrest Gump and he "ain't led no hum drum life." I liked the movie better than the book and that doesn't usually happen for me. I don't know if it's because I saw the movie first and it was so popular or if I truly just didn't like the way things happened in the book. Forrest gets his happy ending in the movie. I know it doesn't seem like it since Jenny dies in the end, but he got to be with Jenny and she chose to be with him. It didn't happen that way in the book. Jenny leaves him and marries someone else and lives out her peaceful suburban existence with this man until she's old and gray I assume. Forrest lived an exciting life but he's still left with unfulfilled dreams. So, this brings my to my point. Why does Hollywood think we have to have happy endings in the movies when it doesn't really happen that way? The way the movie was written was good, I did like it. I just hate that it was so different from the book. The book and movie Angels and Demons was the same way. I love the book, I really enjoyed it. And then I saw the movie. The movie deviated from the book in ways that were completely unnecessary. I was so excited to see the movie and was so looking forward to it. It was a huge disappointment. I bitched and moaned about it the entire time I watched it, much to the annoyance of my friends. I know things have to be edited and changed around to make a movie happen but if the guy dies in the book, he should freaking die in the movie! I can't save Dumbledore in the Harry Potter game for the Wii dammit, so why should the guy in the movie live when he dies in the book?! I know these movies, books and characters are fiction and may not have what you would call typical happy endings but in comparison they tried to nice things up and some of it worked and some of it didn't. I guess I think that the movies' should match the book, at least in general details. That would be nice. I think I'm starting to ramble again. It IS about 1:15 in the morning, folks.

Aside from tearing up and scattering a trash bag full of feminine hygiene products all across my front yard, I don't have any dog stories to tell. Piper is just biding her time looking sweet and innocent until she thinks up her next big murder plot. Dottie might be trying to talk her out of it. Or, she may be planning and plotting right along with her. Never can tell about those two.

I'm getting sleepy now so I'm going to try to get my own happy ending, at least for tonight. (That would be SLEEP you dirty-minded freaks!)

Nighty night. :)

Another Overheard QOTD -

Trainee: This customer is mad because we won't cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won't stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He's gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won't cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This... uh... Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I'm sorry.
Riverview Parkway, San Diego

Numb. As I sit here, that's all I feel. The world has lost a beautiful young woman. Leslie Reynolds Adamek had a rare form of cancer I couldn't possibly pronounce, let alone spell. She passed away today. I was privileged to know LuLu. I got to help her with homework. I attended her wedding. I painted her toes. She was a remarkable young lady who handled her illness with a strength and class few would be able to match. I feel so much sadness for her family, but I thank God LuLu is no longer suffering and in pain. Keep her family in your prayers. They are going to need them.

What a beautiful day outside today! I had almost forgotten what they look like. I should take a walk or something. Right now I'm washing sheets and cleaning bathrooms during commercial breaks for the Dallas game. Look at me being all industrious. Really, I'm just tired of catching poison ivy from the dog. Piper's going to be relegated to the bathroom at night again. At least until I can kill the shit. Or try to kill it. They say the more often you're exposed to it, the LESS tolerant you are. I believe it. I can just look at the stuff and I get it. So, I've foiled Piper's evil plan to off me. For now. I have no doubt she'll come up with another scheme soon. That was written yesterday afternoon.

I'm headed to bed last night, and I call Piper in to get in her new bed. She comes wagging her butt in the room like she's actually going to listen to me for a change but then ducks her head and runs full tilt in the opposite direction. She ended up at the other side of the bed where she promptly disappeared underneath the dust ruffle. I heaved a big sigh, shook my head and just went to bed. I wasn't going to fall into her little trap. As my feet hit the floor this morning, there she was, wagging her tail and jumping around like she was a perfect little angel. I smiled back at her. I had devised a little scheme of my own. I have a big black suitcase, the perfect suitcase in fact to wedge in between the bed and the wall. As I called her in again, she heads into my dark bedroom full speed and runs smack dab into said suitcase. She retreated, our eyes met, and I swear she gave me a "Go to Hell" look, but she ended up in the bathroom. I have a sneaking suspicion that although I may have won the battle, this war is not over.

Wow, no rain in sight for the seven-day forecast. I don't think I've seen that since last year. And I don't like this getting dark before 6:30 crap.

BTW, yay Cowboys! Wasn't much of a game but I'm glad they won. And shame on Wisconsin fans for boo'ing Brett Favre as he returned to Lambeau. Your team didn't want to play him, so he went somewhere that did. GET OVER IT! You people get on my nerves.

October has sucked big, purple donkey balls. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and I have to say that I will not be sorry to see this month pass. I am usually excited to dress up, or dress someone else up, or at the very least scare a few folks. I did Terror Trails, jumped out the shadows to scare a friend, watched the scary movies. I guess my heart just wasn't that into it. This time of year brings bittersweet nostalgia for me anyway. The month started off horribly with the death of my dachsund baby, Captain, and it just never recovered.



Captain Bo Jangles almost made it to his 14th birthday. When I met him in 2001 he was five years old, still a spunky and spry little fellow. I remember seeing him come trotting out of the animal shelter with a big doggy grin on his face. It was love at first sight. I have to admit that I fall for pretty much ANY weenie dog, but there was something special about Captain. He was a stud dog whose curiosity took him out on the town, where he was picked up by the MP Animal Shelter. His previous 'owners' were contacted but decided he had outlived his usefulness to them and they did not want to pay the fee to release him. I was working at the newspaper at the time and the reporter who covered the adoptions for the shelter showed me his picture. Thank you, Casey. We were meant to find each other, I think. He always knew the right time to snuggle, or waddle over and give me that precious doggy grin before he buried himself back in his blanket. Over the years, time took it's toll and Captain's once pristine coat began to tarnish with specks of gray until his face was a completely different color. Captain didn't let his old age stop him, might've slowed him down a bit, but it didn't stop him. He loved his toys and he loved his rawhide and he LOVED his blanket. He would bark when his food bowl was empty, he would bark when his water bowl was empy, he would bark for his toys to be thrown, he would bark to be let back in the house. When he wanted my attention he would bark until he got it! For an eternity, he would bark until I thought he couldn't possibly have any bark left. Then he would bark some more! Until I would FINALLY get up off my lazy bum and get him whatever it was that he wanted. I used to curse that bark. Now, the silence is deafening. The hole Captain left in my heart is slowly being refilled by the countless memories of the love he shared. Goodbye, my Captain.

Goodbye October.

I had a little meltdown last night. I'm not quite sure why, other than my emotional status seems to rev up another notch every year I get older. I cry at the On Star commercials on the radio for goodness sake! Let me tell you what happened.

I'm dogsitting. That means I have 5 dachsunds (plus my big mutt) in my tiny little house, all vying for my attention or my lap or the weenie I happen to have in my hand. My two are used to all of the attention. Captain seems to go with the flow, although even he has wanted in my lap this week. Piper, on the other hand, hates it. She is used to being my baby and getting most of the attention. She mostly tolerates everyone but every once in a while she'll throw out a growl or snap her teeth at her temporary roomies. She's got a bit of an allergy problem so I give her a Benedryl in a weenie every night before bed. As I was handing her weenie to her last night, someone else showed a little bit of interest in it and she snatched that sucker out of my hand and clamped down on my thumb in the process. It didn't draw blood but it hurt like hell, and it hurt my feelings. In my head, I know she didn't mean to do it and I know she's a freaking dog and I KNOW I'm being completely irrational. But I couldn't help it. I burst into tears, the whole time mad at myself and knowing that I was being stupid which made me cry harder. I went on with my bedtime routine, bawling the whole time, for 15 minutes I was blubbering and sniffling. And then I had the thought that out of the 6 dogs I had in the house not one cared a single iota that I was losing it, hence another fit of hysteria.

There could be a myriad of reasons for my little crying jag; the status of my love life, loneliness, the conflicting feelings I have with my so-called "family" or maybe I was just hormonal. I don't know, maybe I just needed it.

It took a little while and a few distractions but I finally stopped the waterworks. When all was said and done I just tucked Piper's little head under my chin, told her I loved her and clicked off the light. All was right with the world again.

My dear little Dottie
Whilst I love you so
Your antics are much too naughty,
You're causing me great woe.

I know you just want some booty,
But you're interrupting my slumber.
You must stop it, my beauty,
Cause I've got your number.

You can moan and groan
You can snort and stomp,
But your wilds oats are long sown,
There will be no romp.

Look around. I know He's up there, enjoying the scene before him in glorious amusement. What else could explain the things going on in the world today.

Don't you think it would be something God would do to allow O.J. Simpson to walk free, thinking he'd gotten away with murder. The cocky bastard walking around and making a mockery of the whole thing, so sure of his invincibility he didn't even try to hide what he was doing in Vegas. So, instead of murder he gets nailed for kidnapping and armed robbery. Justice? Or vengeance? I think God got a good laugh over that one for sure.

We've got paparazzi being punched in the face, government bailouts, 5 o'clock traffic, separation of church and state, Britney Spears as hard news, and global warming (aka weather, aka another commercial and politicized money making opportunity). Sounds like one big cosmic joke to me.

This is my entry for a little MySpace group called Blog Pick. Follow the link below to check out differing, but fascinating introspectives on a single topic.

OK folks, I just write 'em as I see 'em.

Soooo...question. Have
you ever been so hungry that you had to dig in to the rotisserie
chicken while you were still shopping? Yeah, me neither. This is what I
saw, however, yesterday while cruising the aisles for Lean Cuisines at
my local Brookshire's.

Strage lady thinking to herself, 'Yes, that looks like a good cut of pork. I think I'll take a bite of this chicken leg to celebrate.'

I could only shake my head and try to quell the laughter as I quickly
ducked down the soda aisle where I was quickly distracted by chocolate
chip cookies. Maybe I should have asked the lady for a bite of chicken
to celebrate...

In the 1800s, women in the United States had few legal rights and did not have the right to vote. After her arrest for casting an illegal vote in the presidential election of 1872, Susan B. Anthony was tried and fined $100. She refused to pay.

It was not until after her death in 1906, after five decades of tireless work, the Democratic and Republican parties both endorsed women's right to vote. In August of 1920, the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was finally ratified, allowing women to vote.

In theory, the 19th Amendment extended voting rights to all women. However, the vast majority of African Americans—men and women—continued to face restrictions on voting, such as literacy tests and other measures that discouraged them from registering to vote. The Voting Rights Act of 1965 finally banned such restrictions.

Look at the years of struggle it took to bring us to this point. No matter your feelings, this is an historic election. It is our civic duty; exercise your right and your privilege to vote, for it is a privilege.

My back hurts.

The 2008 Start! Heart Walk for the American Heart Association on Saturday was a success! I don't think a final tally is in, well I know it's not because I'm a slacker and haven't put all mine in yet, but I believe we raised close to $30,000. That's the current number on the website, anyway. **Singing: Awwwwwesome!!**

It was something I was proud to be a part of and I am also proud to say that although they didn't make everyone walk the entire 5k (What??!?!) that Tina and I did. It was important to me to complete the commitment I'd made, and we did it! Thank you, Tina, for realizing how important it was to me to do this. You rock! You're the bestest friend in the world and I was honored to have you next to me. Next year will be even better...

Have I mentioned my back hurts?

I couldn't sleep last night. I started to get up and write a blog then, but I couldn't bring myself to put forth the effort. My mind was meandering all over the place, touching on many different subjects. It kept coming back to the men I have been attracted to, gone out with and married. I seem to gravitate toward the wrong kind of men. I made a comment to T-Lo that men suck, and that kind of scared me that I actually do feel that way; it's not just something I say. She said something that resonated with me, "Well, of course. You haven't had one prove you wrong." She's right, I haven't. But should the thought of going out on a date terrify me to the point of nausea? Not the good kind caused from butterflies, either. I sort of feel like I'm broken and I'm not quite sure how to fix myself. It's been 3 years since the demise of my marriage, well it was really over before it began considering. I'm not stuck in that relationship, but I can't seem to more forward to a new one. I've had more than one opportunity, but it's like I'm paralyzed. My emotional limbs stiffen up and freeze, effectively putting a halt to movement in that direction. I thought back to my first "serious" relationship in middle school. I 'went' with a boy a little younger than me and I really liked him, he was well mannered and polite and he really liked me back. We went out for almost the entire school year and right before summer I broke up with him. I'm not sure why, exactly, except for the fact that I wanted more emotion. I wanted him to fight to keep me. He didn't. I've been trying to find someone that wants me and would fight for me ever since, I think. The next week I called to try to set him up with my best friend at the time. He politely declined and I don't remember ever hearing much out of him again. Maybe my dating history is relationship karma for the way I treated him? The next guy I 'went' with broke my heart. I didn't know him nearly as well or go out with him nearly as long but I was so infatuated with him that I thought I'd die when it was over. I cried all evening the day he broke up with me and it's one thing I haven't blocked out of that time in my life that I wish I had. I had a few other dates between then and my marriage but nothing spectacular. The guy I eventually married pursued me, at least in the beginning. That was nice, it's what I needed and wanted, but it was a lie. It was all a fantasy, I look back at that time and see it in the pinks and purples of a dream world complete with sparkly stars. Is it any wonder I'm messed up? Why I'm putting this out in the blogosphere, I don't know. Maybe it will be therapeutic, maybe I'll get some helpful advice. It was on my mind. Why not?

P.S. Don't forget about the Heart Walk this Saturday. I need your money!!! To donate online, go to http://www.heartwalk.kintera.org/longviewtx and click on "Donate Here" or send me an email to tanyamoniq@yahoo.com and I will contact you with the information you need. Thank you for your support!