Bull shocked...
Every morning "The Devil Cat" pounces on Piper. She can't take two steps out of the bathroom before Jazzy is riding her back like a bull. Piper doesn't particularly mind, but she's usually pretty ready to go outside. She'll always play with him for a few minutes, but this morning I guess she was ready to pee all over the place and needed to go outside quick. She laid the cat OUT! She shook him off her back and he landed hard. I think it shocked her because she sat there for a second, like 'Oh shit! What did I do.' But then she got over it and ran on over to the back door. It amused me though. I always enjoy a laugh at 7 in the morning.
"Overheard in New York" Quotes of the Day
Crazy crackhead: I am not your average crackhead -- I will kill you! (This one should have been posted yesterday so I could have added it to the "Crackhead Couple" post.)--Lenox & 118th
Professor: If you put a frog in a beaker of water and gradually heat it, at about 160 degrees or so the frog will look around and say, 'Oh, shit! I'm dead!'--NYU
Old and sad...
The trip to Dallas was pretty uneventful if you call driving around the countryside and almost taking someones passenger-side door off uneventful.
I'll start with the "Crackhead Couple" story. Now, I don't really know if these people were on crack. But, if they weren't they should tell everybody they were. We're driving down the road (I've taken over the driving at this point because Tina had had all the stress she could take for one evening) and this car flies up past us on the left side. Didn't really pay much attention to it because most people fly in the metroplex. Most people, however, don't stop in the middle of a busy street, fling open their door and proceed to try to exit the vehicle. "Crackhead Couple" win the prize of the evening - "One leg crushed and a missing passenger-side door gets you a six-week hospital stay. The good news is your remaining leg is fully functional!" Thank goodness they were driving next to the conservative driver from 'da backwoods' who successfully managed to navigate around them without incident. We see a man yelling and screaming at the woman trying to flee with his arm around her neck. Crackheads, if you're gonna fight... do it in the privacy of your own home where you can break and endanger your own shit.
Now, we set out Sunday afternoon to search for the testing site. Let me just say MAPQUEST SUCKS and so does the testing center for not providing accurate directions or a sign on the damn building. We drove 20 miles out of the way to find out we were where we needed to be in the first place. I guess my Bat(man) eyes were supposed to pick out the 9101 on the side of the building at 70 miles per hour. Anyways, we find the building finally and figure out how to pull into the stupid ass parking lot with only one damn entrance. We pull back into the hotel parking lot and Tina says, "I think I want to go back and make sure we can find it again." I say, "I got this, don't worry about it!" We end up going back. But I nailed it on the first go-round on trip number 2! Yay me! I-Hop is next on our hit list. Dallas is a big city, right? The Richardson area has a bunch of shit, right? Where in the hell is an I-Hop?? Where in the hell is Prestonwood mall? It used to be right here! Driving all over Coit Rd, Arapaho, Belt Line, Preston Rd, no I-Hop and no Prestonwood. I pull into a convenience store to ask for directions. Uhhhhh... duhhh... durrr... I don't know... I'm not from here. Dumb ass. We drive a little further and I pull into a Blockbuster, maybe we'll have better luck here. Bingo! We are directed right to an I-Hop not 2 minutes away. And Prestonwood? Prestonwood Mall is no more, I learn. I couldn't believe it! I didn't believe it. I drove the directions she gave me to where it USED to be and couldn't find it. While Tina was taking her test I tried again in the daylight to find it. All I found was a big Super Walmart. Still not believing, I had to do some internet research. The once prestigous and elaborate mall with an ice skating rink and a million memories was gone. It's a sad, sad day folks. It was built a year AFTER I was born. I shopped there. And ate giant cookies there. And took ice skating lessons there. How can something so huge and massive just disappear? Here's some of what I found out.
In 1982, Galleria Dallas opened with Macy's, a beautiful Marshall Field's, and Saks Fifth Avenue. The next year, Bloomingdale's opened at Valley View. The expansion and opening soon began to take its toll on what was the prestigious Prestonwood.
Additionally, by 1994, the mall was a notorious hangout for teens, drawn by the large food court and the skating rink. It became extremely difficult for customers and mall managers alike.
A renovation announced in 1996 never materializes, and many stores have the original interiors of their openings. In September 1997, JCPenney closes its anchor; Mervyn's closes as well. When a new mall in Plano is announced, Neiman Marcus and Lord & Taylor announce they will relocate. By 1999, they are the only two stores left in the center.
The year 2000 brings a new owner to Prestonwood: Goldman Sachs' Archon Group, for whom I worked while this deal was closed. Despite the bloodbath in the telecom industry, an ever-confident Archon announces it will make Prestonwood into a telecom center called Genisus Dallas North. The plans never fully come to fruition, as half of the center is complete, half is not. By October 2003, Archon announces that it will no longer pursue Genisus Dallas North and Prestonwood will be replaced by an open air center that has still yet to be built.
Neiman's and Lord & Taylor soldiered on-- but the nail in the coffin was the hit and run death of an elderly woman shopping at Neiman's in 2001. No one else wanted to go there afterward. By summer 2004, Prestonwood Town Center was completely gone.
What happened? Well, the usual traffic snarls around one of the deadliest intersections in Dallas wasn't helping. The teens didn't help. The downsizing of stores, of which JCPenney was first, was the beginning of the end. It appears to be a number of things, but it was a sad sight to see.
So, there you go. A little bad press, some bad ass kids and a deadly accident can kill a business. Even one as big as Prestonwood. I feel old... and sad...
Mucho crack...
This is a busy weekend. Last night, the Christmas party. (Mucho fun, by the way! Pics are posted.) Today through Monday, it's the big, bad city. Tina's taking her Polysomnography test and I'm going along to help her study and to feed her cigarettes. Good luck to you, honey! But, I really don't think you'll need it.
Gosh... What am I going to do without a computer for 2 whole days?! That's like telling an addict... Nope, no more crack for you! So, y'all do enough computer crack for me, okay? Have a great weekend!
"Overheard in the Office" Quote of the Day
Skank: Can I use your bathroom?Clerk: Only if you promise not to pee on the floor.Skank: Okay.---7-Eleven, Westmoreland Street and Broad Street
---Richmond, Virginia
Party magic today...
It's par-tay time folks! Tonight is the Annual CHC Christmas Party and I'm gonna win some money. It's the power of positive thinking! I'm definitely going to have a good time fo' sho'.
So, I locked my keys in my car last night. Both sets. And it's the cat's fault. It's his fault because he's decided the Christmas tree is his own personal fun center. I get home last night to lights pulled off and unplugged, the ribbon unraveled and balls on the floor. I repair the tree, turn the tree and outside lights on, and go to Anne's for dinner. I come back to no tree lights. So, I've got the door open and am ready to beat the hell out of the cat before the car even comes to a complete stop. I jump out, hit the lock button and slam the door shut. I walk about two steps and freeze. Although it was cold enough outside, I didn't freeze because of the weather. "Shit," I said. "Shit, shit, shit!!!" They're still in there. Staring out at me through the frosty glass, unattainable. OleAnner was kind enough to let me borrow her Durango this morning to get to work and Kim's gonna come over and see if she can work her criminal magic. So keep your fingers crossed!!!
A big blog shout out to my friend Kevin. It's his birthday today!! Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu, Happy Birrrrrrrrthdaaaaaaaaay toooooooo yoooooooouuuuuuuuu, Haaaappppyyyy Biiirrrttthhhdaaaayyyy deeaarrr Keevvviiiinnnnn, Haaaappyyyyy Biiirrrrrthdaaaaaay tooooooooooooo yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! It's also my friend Reba's birthday, so Happy Birthday to Reba as well!
"Overheard in New York" Quote of the DayBlack customer: Give me a yellow cash card, my brother.
Middle Eastern owner: What'd you call me?
Black customer: I said 'my brother.'
Middle Eastern owner: No, no, no. We are different.
Black customer: No, we're not -- we all come from the same place. We have the same blood.
Middle Eastern owner: No, your blood is black -- your blood is shit.
Black customer: No man, my blood is blue just like yours. Besides, if I don't come here to your store to spend money, how are you going to afford the bombs to blow up buildings?
--488 Madison Ave
